Youtube, as a compulsory and much appreciated component of module B-PANS (boredom- provoked aimless net surfing), introduced me to a talkshow which i have previously watched very briefly on Channel 49- 三隻小豬.
This program features three young women basically playing masak-masak, pretending that they are three lovely sisters welcoming guests to their home. The three, for some perverse reason, prefer to be known as little pigs. They are the very adorable and sexy Tian Xin, the extremely pretty Patty Hou and the somewhat cute and bubbly Yang Qian Pei. When i watched it on TV, i was a little turned off by three hot women holding hands, giggling and calling themselves pigs. Driven by boredom and propelled by destiny, I ended up watching a rather hilarious and surprisingly interesting episode on why men can never get it right.
Woman (W): Dear, is the blue pair of shoes or golden pair of shoes prettier? Which should I buy??
Man (M): (Very haplessly) The blue pair.
W: (agitated) Huh? Really? Why isn’t the gold pair prettier? Isn’t the gold pair nice?? Give me reasons for your choice!!
M: Er. well i just prefer the blue pair.
W: I knew it! You have always thought i looked lousy in gold! I can’t wear gold! You should just be frank and tell me i look ugly!!!!
M: What the ….! I thought you asked me for my opinion!
W: I knew it. You are not paying attention! You don’t like me to shop!
Let us go back in time. What if M had said:
Both pairs look awesome, honey.
It doesn’t work cos W, depending on her personality, would reply with either: Buy both for me then! (which bodes ill fortune for M’s pockets) or You are lying! You are not looking carefully! Ni Zai Fu Yan Wo!
Tsk tsk….I am however easily pacified. As some of you might already know, whenever i feel ugly/fat/plain/oily/whatever other negative adjective, i ask the million-dollar question: ” 李嘉欣 mei hai shi wo mei?”
The answer is undoubtedly : “You, of course”
Of course, the enthusiasm behind the answer has waned over the years. He started off gushing: “You are prettier because you are the prettiest in my eyes”. Then, the reply evolved slowly into a “You” in a I-can’t-believe-you tone. Recently, i have started noticing the robotic look in his eyes when he drones..”Yoooouuu”.
But there you have it on the record. This woman ain’t no match for my incredulous beauty.