Today has been a very long and rather dreadful day.
First, I had P coming to me repeatedly, asking me yet another silly question for the umpteenth time. Her questions are SO stupid that I secretly suspect she’s asking them cos’ she just wants to chat. And it is no use acting busy or plugging into the ear phones. She waves frantically in your face. Even if you pretend not to can’t hear her, you can’t ignore an innocuous-looking little palm, wildly moving from side to side. That palm just screams damsel-in-distress-please-rescue-immediately.
And then I had the other P, honestly the most political guy i have ever met. I don’t know whether he is a real politicking sorta person cos’ if he is, he must be the dumbest of them all. He is so transparent that you know immediately that all his advice are meant to do you in. Either stupid, or not masterful. I think the latter lahz. And the thing is i don’t understand why anyone would want to expend their energies on being political with me cos’ i am really not into that bullsh**. I hate it when he approaches me cos’ after twenty minutes of conversation, i have no idea what he wants me to say or what he actually wants to say to me. Can’t we all get straight to the point? Tact and playing difficult-to-get/guess aren’t exactly my areas of expertise.
There are lots and lots of feelings in me right now. I cannot put them into words, but suffice to say I am drained and stretched on all fronts. Drained like a deflated balloon, yet about to explode like a balloon stretched until you could see through it. Which is saying quite a lot, cos i ain’t easily drained. I need to concentrate. I need to prioritise. I need to know what I want. I need the holidays. Now, now, I never knew that my job can be that energy-sapping. Gosh, i feel like i am preparing for the final hurdle myself. In fact, i think that would be a lot easier than trying to get 100 other lovable but immature people to clear the hurdle with me while huge stubborn weird obstacles are in our way.
Focus, dear, focus.