Claustrophobic

Inhale

a small space freaks me out, especially when i have to bump into someone every time i turn. I hate feeling like a cornered animal.

too much stuff freaks me out, especially when i have to bump into something every time i turn. Bruises are a no-go.

garish colours scream and give me a headache.

loud noise make me lose all ability to think.  Sudden loud noises make me jump.

non-stop nagging, especially when I am in a small space full of garish-coloured items with a stereo playing loud metal music and a tv set playing serials involving screaming women, coupled with sudden loud noises made by clanging pots- can someone just rescue me please?

wide-opened windows and doors make me feel…exposed. There is also this little obsessive-compulsive part of me which imagines insects, dirt and dust blown in, inconspicuously but surely filling  a small space filled with garish- coloured items and noise of all pitches.

I guess i am quite a high-strung person eh? The above will explain why I am terrified of crowded trains. It is enclosed, i can’t turn without bumping into someone or something, I am bombarded with noise from announcements, the motion of the train (the loud boom boom boom as it goes into a tunnel and the squeaky noises the metal compartments make), twenty people of all shapes, all sizes, all facial expressions, all voices talking, laughing at the same time and yes, lots of garish colors from all sorts of advertisements. I just can’t breathe.

I am anal, but I really think there should be some sort of rule forbidding people from talking loudly and blasting music on trains. I also think that SMRT should make use of existing technologies to reduce noise from the engines. Lastly, i think there should be a designer to make sure that ads are arranged in a way such that colors do not clash.

And i really have pms. I try to deny it, but once a month, there will just be these three days when i am just waiting to explode/burst into tears. And it is inexplicable why the world suddenly turns beautiful and bright once my awaited visitor arrives amidst all the fanfare. Can’t you just come quietly and in peace?

I can’t imagine my temper when I get pregnant. I would probably drive my husband nuts.

I am grateful that I can put my feelings and fears into words.

Exhale.

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