Category Archives: Just being me

Life, 31 years and 11 months

Today is a peaceful Saturday- i slept in after supper with H last night. Haven’t seen him in almost 6 months and yet, hanging out was surprisingly comfortable. Guess that’s what happens when a person has been a huge part of your life for the longest time.

It’s rainy, the house is quiet (mum’s napping so my ears are spared from yet another round of nagging), i am full after a meal,  laundry done and i’m happily sipping Gong Cha, while waiting for the bf, henceforth known as B, to come online.

I rarely blog but I’m bored right now. It’s nice to write in anonymity, and then look back years later at the entries and marvel at how things have changed or how I have grown.

And in case any young naive person happens to read this post, it is true: time does heal and make things clearer. If you follow your heart, most of the time, things turn out good:).

Dear me in xx years from now,

At this point in my life, i would say that i am very satisfied. A wee bit bored, a wee bit afraid, but mostly satisfied and happy.

On the physical front, I am grateful for good health and youthful genes. I am almost 32, and people still think i am an intern.

Just a while ago, I was having dinner with a former colleague when I was picked up. God knows how long i haven’t been picked up. The man (who looks 27, max) approached me, told me his friend (who looks 27, max) was interested to “know me”. Not cool but still an ego booster:p The last time I was picked up outside of a club, in clear light, I was on the very right side of 30.

My clubbing days are over. 2 years ago, when I was still clubbing with my colleagues often, i had wondered aloud why people stop. While I have never been a hard-core party-goer – once a month at most – i enjoyed dancing and drinking.

But  I can’t club anymore. After a one-year break, i partied with my best friends from secondary school in January. It was a riot and we had lots of fun, except that I came down with flu the very next day, and recovered fully only after two weeks. I have the answer now to my own question- you simply get too old/lazy/weak. Though I still won’t say no to clubbing if i’m asked a year later! Haha…

Work-wise, I am in a new role in an industry completely foreign to me. I am not a high-flyer but i am very, very thankful that I have always had the courage (and the means) to go out of my comfort zone.

My first job of 3 years and 2 months (?) taught me so much about respecting and embracing differences. The reasonably high pay gave me savings, my driving license and plenty of opportunities to live it up. I loved my kiddos. To this day, I still keep in touch with many of them.

My second ill-fated stint with a local PR agency lasted all of six months, thanks to the most unlikeable pair of bosses I have ever encountered. One good thing came out of it: I got to know a bunch of eye-candies who are now close friends. We still meet up regularly.

I loved the three years I spent meeting deadlines. I met so many people whom I would never have met or spoken with otherwise, got to know so many young friends of the same wave length, worked under some of the best and most inspiring bosses, had so much fun, and pretty much tire myself out with the steep learning curve and sky-high job demands. I pretty much think this is a must-try for anyone below 30 (you need lots of energy, curiousity and stamina-things which rapidly deplete after 30 haha).

My next one month doing the same old, now in entertainment as opposed to the serious stuff, was too short to be significant but I did get to see Super Junior and SNSD up close and personal. I am not a K-Pop fan though. I also learnt that frivolous things you enjoy during your leisure time become an absolute chore when it morphs into your job. I mean, I really don’t care what Wang Lee Hom is doing.

I am more than a year into my new role now, on the other side of the fence. I am relishing the stability, the fixed hours, the supportive work environment and the discovery of a completely corporate world.

This also marks the first job where I actually sit more than 70 percent of the time. Drives me nuts cos’ i am restless. Making me fat too (oh, how my metabolism has slowed. I used to be able to eat a lot before I get a tummy. Now my tummy is flat only in the morning. -_-“).

I have loved, lost and gained, gotten hurt and hurt others but I am none the worse for wear. I still am a hopeless romantic, I still believe in love. H will always be one of my closest friends and no words can describe how grateful I am that we are still in touch. While I no longer love him in a romantic sense, i still do love him and wish nothing but the best for him.

B: there are challenges, there are times when we want to strangle each other, but I love him:) Don’t want to say too much cos’ I could jinx things but buddy, I’m so grateful that you are in my life.

I had a checklist of things to do and achieve. Running marathons, climbing Mt Ophir and Kinabalu, travelling, going for yoga, sky-diving, diving, buying a house (ended up buying, selling and buying again), living on my own (a good two years), renting a place (oh yes I did), doing a solo trip (I went to Phuket) blah blah blah blah blah. I have completed every single item and that explains the slight boredom.

Going forward, I want to spend time firming up my new checklist (already have some ideas in mind, which will hopefully be achieved by the time the older me – i.e. you – read this again). Life is really all about little milestones and the celebrations, however small, that go along with completing them.

Last but not least, i do feel a little scared. When you are young, you feel immortal. I now worry whether I have enough insurance and savings, if I will be old with filial kids (or old and lonely; old with kids who steal my money; old and sickly, you get the drift).

When you read this post, no matter how life might have turned out for you, I hope you will remember how you felt at this point in time. Happy, blessed, trying to find new goals, and feeling a wee bit of trepedation mixed with a big dose of hope and optimism.

Love,

Me, 31 years and 11 months.

PS: Hope you don’t have too many wrinkles. Hope you have a happy family, good friends, and are surrounded by love. Hope you are hale, healthy, and more importantly, contented, happy and fortunate=)).

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Hello Stranger

It has been a year since I last blogged.

Time flies so fast that it is scary sometimes.

Lots of things have happened in 2011- like the year before, it was, for the lack of a better description, an experience.

For better or for worse, I have grown.

I sold my home, and bought a new studio apartment.

I started renting a place to live on my own (my new place will hopefully be ready very soon)

I quit my job, a job that I have been passionate about for 3 years (simply because management changed and i really don’t want to work under a collective bunch of bimbos and manipulative bitches), joined another company for a month and quit because I realised entertainment wasn’t quite my interest.

Many years on after Mount Ophir, I completed Mt Kinabalu with a bunch of friends I have known more than half my life.

A few years on after my first half-marathon, I did my second. Slower timing, but I completed it=). I also did it for the first time with someone different.

I went on my first two work-trips ever: 2 weeks in London (woo hoo!) and a day in…Batam haha.

Also had two short but relaxing getaways in Hong Kong and Bali.

My father passed away.

2012 has so far, in comparison to two preceding years, been stable.

I found a job which I like reasonably, with people who are reasonably nice, which is a fantastic location, and which offers a reasonable pay and benefits package. At age 20, when I was in debt thanks to study loans, I chose to embark on a job which provides me with a high starting pay (didn’t regret it- I enjoyed my 3+ years immensely, paid up all my loans and saved enough). At age 27, I decided to pursue my interest- in a job which is so tough, I think nothing really fazes anymore.Contrary to expectations that I would not last a year, I did, and then some more:). Now..turning 31, I have found a job which I think I can retire in. *Cross fingers that there will be no terrible changes to management etc.

Emotionally, I feel at-peace.

Here’s to 2012 and I hope I blog more often.

Housework

I started my weekend (i.e. Fri night) doing household chores- changing the bedsheets and towels, cleaning the toilets, doing the laundry, wiping the dust off all surfaces. Mopping and vacuuming, thank god, are not my duties.

Housework is an onerous undertaking- it’s time-consuming (from 7 to 10pm!) and gives me aching joints. The only perk: the satisfaction of a squeaky-clean home, fresh sheets and gleaming glass surfaces.

What’s gonna be for the rest of the day: head to the gym (I’m trekking in 3 months’ time and I need to get fit fast), go for a manicure (either french or a shocking pink to go with my toes), dinner, a movie marathon, and hopefully, a glass of red wine.

Here’s to the weekend=))!

Don’t wanna go back.

The 2-week break is ending.

Darn it.

I wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad~~

And totally irrelevant to Travie McCoy’s catchy piece is how much I can’t stand Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift. I hate their songs and I still don’t understand how Swift got her grammy. Argh.

If i sound grumpy, that’s cos I’m. The Monday Blues hit me early.

Happy New Year:)

This year is just over too quickly. Maybe it is global warming. Maybe it is the sign of the times. Maybe apocalypse is drawing near. Ok, i am starting the year on too morose a note:p

My usual recap/list of the year shall be kept really short- again, maybe it is cos’ i am embarking on the fourth decade of my existence, maybe it is cos’ i am doing too much writing for a living – but i just don’t feel it.

The bests of 2010:

Film: Confessions (Not a film, but i really liked Wild Rice’s Animal Farm)

Song: Love the way you lie

Album: Karen Mok’s Baby Bao Bei

Book: Norwegian Wood

Restaurant: Providence, Los Angeles, and Nagomi, Cuppage Plaza

Most disappointing restaurant: Angelo’s Restaurant at Killiney Road, Mussel Guys at Vivocity.

Most significant experiences: A home of my own and living out on my own! Los Angeles and Las Vegas!! My first solo trip to Phuket!! Visiting thai pubs!!

2010- The last year of the decade and for me, it really passed in a messy whirl. I can’t say I hated the year because there were milestones, some valuable lessons and some genuine joy, but on the whole, a good part of the year was spent in bewilderment (both at myself and others), regret, fear, obsession, anticipation, disappointment, and pain.

My defining words for the year: messy, fast. Looking at my astrology for the year ahead scares me. They all say the same thing- the stable Taurean (and i am as Taurean as a Taurean can get) has already embarked on uncertainty and that is something that is likely to mark 2011 as well.

I feel tired already, a wee bit excited but mostly…tired. The last day of 2010 was spent in good company, with the jc peeps, at z’s rooftop- where we have been hanging out since we were mere kiddies in that ugly green uniform. With love, laughter, games, food and alcohol, and with plenty of discussion on hitting our dreaded 3-0 🙂

Here’s really to a better, more enlightened 2011. Cheers.

Just one thing-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

I LOVED IT.

I don’t understand some of the poor reviews- i do think it is the best installment so far and David Yates has done a fantastic job. I guess if you are not a fan of the books, you could feel lost, but man, i really was spellbound for the 146 minutes.

I also love Ron Weasley, i do, i really do=)

Feeling tired…am in the process of kicking off two addictions. It is hard, but if i can do it until year-end, i think i will be in a good place!

Can i attend hogwarts as an over-aged student pls?

Too…busy and tired.

I can’t believe that this is the last month of Dec…and almost exactly 5 months to my 30th. Woots:)

Today was a good day- went with the former PR colleagues for a ‘religious tour’, had a wonderful dinner with them at a new Italian restaurant in the east- great place, great ambience, fantastic food and very reasonably priced. Another plus: Good house wine. Yummy=)) Would love to share the name of the restaurant but Jo made me promised not to…cos it is her own best-kept secret. Whatever it is, I’ll be back.

Watching America’s Next Top Model 15 now. Really strange and somewhat touching that even the most gorgeous of women have their own insecurities.  Just finished doing some housework and am gonna settle some bills etc before the guy returns home from his wedding dinner.

One last thing- I’m way too lazy to write a review but Confessions (that Jap flick) is a must, must watch. I haven’t watched many movies this year, and I think this honestly ranks amongst the top. It is, on the surface, a psychological thriller (and a pretty adequate one at that) but it is really a hell of a social commentary. Excellent acting, interesting filmography, wonderful pacing. It is moving, scary, realistic, and hit home all the more for me because I am a product of a dysfunctional family, and I have, in my teaching experience, seen so much of what I could have been. All that heavy stuff without losing a certain sense of ironic humour.

Alrite, time to settle bills- that’s one of the worst parts of adulthood!! Argh.