Today is a peaceful Saturday- i slept in after supper with H last night. Haven’t seen him in almost 6 months and yet, hanging out was surprisingly comfortable. Guess that’s what happens when a person has been a huge part of your life for the longest time.
It’s rainy, the house is quiet (mum’s napping so my ears are spared from yet another round of nagging), i am full after a meal, laundry done and i’m happily sipping Gong Cha, while waiting for the bf, henceforth known as B, to come online.
I rarely blog but I’m bored right now. It’s nice to write in anonymity, and then look back years later at the entries and marvel at how things have changed or how I have grown.
And in case any young naive person happens to read this post, it is true: time does heal and make things clearer. If you follow your heart, most of the time, things turn out good:).
Dear me in xx years from now,
At this point in my life, i would say that i am very satisfied. A wee bit bored, a wee bit afraid, but mostly satisfied and happy.
On the physical front, I am grateful for good health and youthful genes. I am almost 32, and people still think i am an intern.
Just a while ago, I was having dinner with a former colleague when I was picked up. God knows how long i haven’t been picked up. The man (who looks 27, max) approached me, told me his friend (who looks 27, max) was interested to “know me”. Not cool but still an ego booster:p The last time I was picked up outside of a club, in clear light, I was on the very right side of 30.
My clubbing days are over. 2 years ago, when I was still clubbing with my colleagues often, i had wondered aloud why people stop. While I have never been a hard-core party-goer – once a month at most – i enjoyed dancing and drinking.
But I can’t club anymore. After a one-year break, i partied with my best friends from secondary school in January. It was a riot and we had lots of fun, except that I came down with flu the very next day, and recovered fully only after two weeks. I have the answer now to my own question- you simply get too old/lazy/weak. Though I still won’t say no to clubbing if i’m asked a year later! Haha…
Work-wise, I am in a new role in an industry completely foreign to me. I am not a high-flyer but i am very, very thankful that I have always had the courage (and the means) to go out of my comfort zone.
My first job of 3 years and 2 months (?) taught me so much about respecting and embracing differences. The reasonably high pay gave me savings, my driving license and plenty of opportunities to live it up. I loved my kiddos. To this day, I still keep in touch with many of them.
My second ill-fated stint with a local PR agency lasted all of six months, thanks to the most unlikeable pair of bosses I have ever encountered. One good thing came out of it: I got to know a bunch of eye-candies who are now close friends. We still meet up regularly.
I loved the three years I spent meeting deadlines. I met so many people whom I would never have met or spoken with otherwise, got to know so many young friends of the same wave length, worked under some of the best and most inspiring bosses, had so much fun, and pretty much tire myself out with the steep learning curve and sky-high job demands. I pretty much think this is a must-try for anyone below 30 (you need lots of energy, curiousity and stamina-things which rapidly deplete after 30 haha).
My next one month doing the same old, now in entertainment as opposed to the serious stuff, was too short to be significant but I did get to see Super Junior and SNSD up close and personal. I am not a K-Pop fan though. I also learnt that frivolous things you enjoy during your leisure time become an absolute chore when it morphs into your job. I mean, I really don’t care what Wang Lee Hom is doing.
I am more than a year into my new role now, on the other side of the fence. I am relishing the stability, the fixed hours, the supportive work environment and the discovery of a completely corporate world.
This also marks the first job where I actually sit more than 70 percent of the time. Drives me nuts cos’ i am restless. Making me fat too (oh, how my metabolism has slowed. I used to be able to eat a lot before I get a tummy. Now my tummy is flat only in the morning. -_-“).
I have loved, lost and gained, gotten hurt and hurt others but I am none the worse for wear. I still am a hopeless romantic, I still believe in love. H will always be one of my closest friends and no words can describe how grateful I am that we are still in touch. While I no longer love him in a romantic sense, i still do love him and wish nothing but the best for him.
B: there are challenges, there are times when we want to strangle each other, but I love him:) Don’t want to say too much cos’ I could jinx things but buddy, I’m so grateful that you are in my life.
I had a checklist of things to do and achieve. Running marathons, climbing Mt Ophir and Kinabalu, travelling, going for yoga, sky-diving, diving, buying a house (ended up buying, selling and buying again), living on my own (a good two years), renting a place (oh yes I did), doing a solo trip (I went to Phuket) blah blah blah blah blah. I have completed every single item and that explains the slight boredom.
Going forward, I want to spend time firming up my new checklist (already have some ideas in mind, which will hopefully be achieved by the time the older me – i.e. you – read this again). Life is really all about little milestones and the celebrations, however small, that go along with completing them.
Last but not least, i do feel a little scared. When you are young, you feel immortal. I now worry whether I have enough insurance and savings, if I will be old with filial kids (or old and lonely; old with kids who steal my money; old and sickly, you get the drift).
When you read this post, no matter how life might have turned out for you, I hope you will remember how you felt at this point in time. Happy, blessed, trying to find new goals, and feeling a wee bit of trepedation mixed with a big dose of hope and optimism.
Love,
Me, 31 years and 11 months.
PS: Hope you don’t have too many wrinkles. Hope you have a happy family, good friends, and are surrounded by love. Hope you are hale, healthy, and more importantly, contented, happy and fortunate=)).
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